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Mad LAD #7800
MAD LAD #7800 · GALAXY

THE LEGEND OF STAR BULLION.

KNOWN AS · Star Bullion

“GALAXY BRAINED.”

All he ever wanted was to be taken seriously by people he can't afford to buy. Sealevel had other plans.

THE FIRST RUMOR

Nobody agrees on where Star Bullion came from. He made his first fortune on the Gilded Mile selling umbrellas the day before it rained, and has never explained how he knew. Light does something odd around him; photographs of him always look like they were taken at night.

HE HAS NEVER SAID WHO.

THE GALAXY TUXEDO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

EVIDENCE

PROPERTY RECORDREF · GALAXY TUXEDO
ITEMGALAXY TUXEDO
HELD BYSTAR BULLION
STATUSOWNED
OWNERSTAR BULLION

THE NIGHT IT HAPPENED

On his first night in , he stood in front of the mirror at the tram station in the Galaxy tuxedo, looked for a long time, and said out loud that it suited someone else better.

“He tips in gold.”

“Then he asks if I've eaten.”

— a doorman on the Gilded Mile

WHAT THEY SAY NOW

They still say Star Bullion was known for owning a share of every business in the Outer Ring and visiting none of them. He is diversifying, he says, into things he won't name.

THE LEGEND LEAVES ONE THING OUT.

RESTRICTED MATERIAL · SEALED BY THE LABFILE 07800 · RM-01

WHO PAID FOR THE GALAXY TUXEDO.

STATUSOWNED

PULL THE SEAL ALONG THE TAPE — OR BREAK IT.
PERSONAL ACCESS · CHANGES NOTHING IN THE ARCHIVE

“In one version, he got exactly what he wanted.”

“In the other, he gave it away the same night.”

— BOTH ARE STILL TOLD IN THE OUTER RING

END OF FILE

ARCHIVE RECORD CLOSED

FILE 07800 · OPENED BY THE COMMUNITY · 26 OCT 2026

Fiction from the Lab's archive, written from these traits. Not Mad Lads canon. Not on-chain history.